Wednesday was our three year anniversary of living in Japan. It seems so fast and slow all at once. I think I say that every year, but I guess some things never change.
This time of year always makes me feel reflective, thinking about what the last year has brought and how our time here continues to shape me. Lately, I've been thinking about how adult I feel. Now, if childhood Wendy could hear me say that, she'd laugh in my face. I'm thirty years old - I better feel like an adult. But I think as we all come to learn, age comes up on us slowly and it's not like a switch flips one day after a certain number of years and suddenly we are something new.
In the time I've been living out here I've seen a lot of my friends back in the US doing "real grownup" things like buying houses, having children, getting promotions. There are definitely times when I feel like I'm in a suspended reality here because I'm not doing any of those things and for as long as I live in Japan I won't be.
But the thing is, moving out here really made me and John grow up. In a way that we had never experienced before, we had to figure out everything for ourselves. We weren't in a familiar environment and our families weren't close by anymore. Feeling sick? We sure couldn't just go to the doctor who had known us since we were kids. Not sure why the hot water heater isn't working? That's not something my mom can explain to me out here. There are times it's been really hard (sometimes infuriating) but a lot of the time it's fun, and it sure is empowering. I've struggled with insecurities my whole life, and that will probably never go away entirely. But I feel so much more confident today, and I have no doubt that's due in large part to the way that living here has made me grow. I'm still so grateful for the chance to live here and trying to make the most of every day.
|Falling Gingko Leaves|